Absolute Gamerz
COAL!
Forum: Alien Universe Stories
Giger's creature in action.
Topic: COAL!
Total Posts: 19
Giger's creature in action.
Topic: COAL!
Total Posts: 19
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
i got this idea from preli to redo this thread. now i would like to know if anybody has any comments or things that i could add or change to make my Creation Of Alien Lord story better.
Posted: 2003-04-02 19:45
_Ccx
Rank: 0
Posts: 104
Write it faster 
Posted: 2003-04-03 01:33
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
yeah i am sorry about that but i get huge writers blocks and then it just come to me and i write it out. but the blocks are betting longer and longer.
Posted: 2003-04-03 01:35
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
anything else anybody thinks that i should improve on.
Posted: 2003-04-03 01:43
_Ccx
Rank: 0
Posts: 104
| Quote: |
| yeah i am sorry about that but i get huge writers blocks and then it just come to me and i write it out. but the blocks are betting longer and longer. |
I was only joking man
Posted: 2003-04-03 07:13
Corpral Hicks
Rank: 0
Posts: 497
Dude, may the Story abit clearer in parts.
Posted: 2003-04-06 08:24
TIKI
Rank: 0
Posts: 1176
just too your best man
Posted: 2003-04-06 12:21
TIKI
Rank: 0
Posts: 1176
just too your best man
Posted: 2003-04-06 12:22
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
hicks could u explain please. what shoudl i make clearer. and thank u TIKI i am doing my best. but my best sucks.
Posted: 2003-04-06 15:03
Corpral Hicks
Rank: 0
Posts: 497
OK! I think it was the last 2 Chapters, I can't remember because I haven't read them since you put them up but, some bit's are hard to follow.
Like, how he has a burned Hatred of the Humans, when he lives with them. You never explaine why he hates Humans in a clear way. I think there might have been 2 sentences why.
You could have done with Chapters in between, and explain some more. What goes on his head, what he has been told, and so forth.
Or may just be me.
But there is my 0.02$ ( I got it from Simpsons, don't hurt me!)
Like, how he has a burned Hatred of the Humans, when he lives with them. You never explaine why he hates Humans in a clear way. I think there might have been 2 sentences why.
You could have done with Chapters in between, and explain some more. What goes on his head, what he has been told, and so forth.
Or may just be me.
But there is my 0.02$ ( I got it from Simpsons, don't hurt me!)
Posted: 2003-04-08 02:54
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
i agree with u my chapters are short and so is the content. i have explained why he hates the human race. he hates them becuase of all the xenos that they have tortured, tested on, and killed. he doesnt hate the humans arround him, if u mean the cassiopia crew, becuase they are part of the hive. or they are atleast in the alien human truce. if u mean on the custard then he does hate them. he hates them becuase they are killing more xenos. but when i am done with my story i will add more to it. its just that i dont get alot of time to type or anything so when i do it has to be quick. thats why my writing sucks like it does.
Posted: 2003-04-08 16:48
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
oooooh and i would like to thank u all for giving me feed back. and also even more thanks for being nice about it. its just a good motivator to fix my story and make it better. not that i would be all that mad if u did send me feedback and it was kinda mean its just that i like it more if we are nice to eachother here. i think that we are finally starting to get back to getting along well.
Posted: 2003-04-08 16:51
Corpral Hicks
Rank: 0
Posts: 497
Also, as with AYAA, it changes from Past Tense to Present tense!
Posted: 2003-04-15 12:11
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
ummmmm. well the tenses. well i am a noobie writer and i kinda like those tenses. is there a rule against doing that. sorry if it is confusing but during the beggining the tense was in third person. that was becuase chris levitan birthed at chapter 2. during chapters 3 and on i will be doing it from his prospective mostly. i might use other people in that tense also. again i am sorry if this is confusing.
Posted: 2003-04-15 16:22
Corpral Hicks
Rank: 0
Posts: 497
well yes, there is a rule-of sorts- unless you are doing flashbacks and flashforwards, the story has to stay in the same tense.
My recommendation, write something else before going for the big cheese on Slof's stuff!
Your choice however and I will continue to read your stories!
My recommendation, write something else before going for the big cheese on Slof's stuff!
Your choice however and I will continue to read your stories!
Posted: 2003-04-16 04:58
AlienSlof
Rank: 8
Posts: 1136
See my post in the AYAA thread for a bit of advice on how to use different tense and pov!
Posted: 2003-04-16 05:48
Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800
ok thank u.
Posted: 2003-04-17 16:33
Skar'ku_Mar'kel-ja
Rank: 0
Posts: 1940
| Quote: |
| well yes, there is a rule-of sorts- unless you are doing flashbacks and flashforwards, the story has to stay in the same tense. My recommendation, write something else before going for the big cheese on Slof's stuff! Your choice however and I will continue to read your stories! |
man, i know you mean good, but that is extremely harsh!
Posted: 2003-04-17 17:27
Corpral Hicks
Rank: 0
Posts: 497
ahem...I got that comment and thought t was good..so I am passing it on..however I ignored it and as I said..I enjoyed his stuff..as I enjoy your stuff!
Posted: 2003-04-19 07:15
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