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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posts: 1800
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 Posted on: 2003-08-05 00:44
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wait as to not look like an asshole or anything I owe a huge amount to mar'kel-ja for the success of this fic.
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Froggy
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Posted on: 2003-08-05 17:27
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I must say that this is an interesting story, if a tad on the unrealistic side.
The unrealistic part: Alien Lord's powers. Seriously, he is just a human/alien hybrid, right? Well, a hybrid wouldn't have the power to shift from a human to an alien form. The hybrid would probably always have a single form. And certainly not the super-duper all powerful emperor form. Think more like the Ripley clone from Alien 4. But I can suspend my imagination enough for it. I'll just say that AL is a really lucky genetic accident. Hey, it isn't more unbelievable than the aliens themselves...
The Alien Lord character needs some work. He is way too one-dimensional. His character so far can be sumed up like this: "He is really, really angry at humans and wants to kill them all". That's it. He seems to just be an angry killing machine. He lacks a personality. He gets angry and he gets very, very egotistical and overconfident. This is the only bit of a personality that has been shown.
What could help him as a character is to have his ass kicked. It would give him a little much needed humility. Sometimes his "I'm Alien Lord! I will crush you all! I am invincible! Muhwahahahahaha!!" attitude can get annoying. He needs to think more about the morality of his actions.
What I mean by this is: Alien Lord is becoming what it is that he wishes to destroy. Seriously, is he any better than the humans? Most of the humans aren't really bad people. Most are just people with a bad job far away from home. They have families, loved ones. They don't think much about what they do to xenomorphs, because they don't know any better. They don't know that the xenomorphs are intelligent and have lives of their own. They don't know that the aliens have fears, desires, dreams, and hopes like them. They think of them as viscious animals, and frankly, I can't blame them. The aliens struck first. They impregnated humans, used them as food, and destroyed colonies with no regard for the human's lives.
Sure, there are some really bad humans, but that doesn't excuse the murder of so many innocents. Alien Lord doesn't even try to spare lives. He loves killing humans. As is stated in the story, he is getting addicted to it. He is falling to the dark side. He is becoming the bad guy. He must really think about the result of his actions; the responsibility that comes with his power. If you expand on his character and press the issue of his responsibilities and the rusults of his actions, you could take this from just another action-packed destruction fest into something truly deep and thought-provoking.
Just my $0.02.
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yeth
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Nuthouse_Escapee
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Posted on: 2003-08-05 17:54
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Froggy, you need to calm down a bit. This isn't real life, its a story based on a video game franchise :/. Lordy just wrote it to have a bit of fun, is there something wrong with that? i dont think so.
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Froggy
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Posted on: 2003-08-05 18:07
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I don't need to calm down. I'm not excited. Just giving a little advice.
And this IS a serious story. What can be more serious than someone on the path on vengence, killing hundreds of people? Not much. I'm just saying that there should be more detail to the situation and main character. Put some deeper thought into it.
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yeth
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Posted on: 2003-08-05 18:11
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Of course not, but I just odn't like very much characters who are the odemigods and kill every one and then there comes a impossible cahllenge and they overcome it easily, I've read some books/fics of these kind and I jsut don't like it. Maybe froggy meant that it was being unrealistic that it was unrealistic in it's own universe or at least thats how I understood it. But as I've said before chapter 4 is good chapter and ALNSs riting has improved much.
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posted on: 2003-08-05 18:48
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i dont know where to really start on a reply so here goes nothing.
First off ur 100% correct on ALs low personality level and getting addicted to killing. u are one intellegent fellow. all that stuff is meant to be. later on future experiences will change him. As i said on the dating game thread u gave me an idea on how to fix my problem. my problem is how to get AL to have a higher personality level and be slightly less addicted to killing. Or not neccesarly addicted to killing. but so that he kills for a more moral or higher reason then for what he does now.
I totally agree the whole xeno to human switch thing is unrealistic but the way i explained it in creation of alien lord was the most realistic way i could think of. now if u all have a better idea then how i did tell me and i very well may change it.
Onto his change in personality well his new friend will help him there also and he will learn that not all humans are evil or to be terminated.
thank u for the compliment on my chapter froggy.
next. thank u nutty for standing up for me.
and thank u kang for realising that i have improved in my writing. although alot of the improvement is thanx to mar.
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posted on: 2003-08-05 18:52
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also thank u to all of u for letting ur imaginations win over realisticality on my stories.
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posted on: 2003-08-05 20:55
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also the part about the emporer form. well its kinda like the whole hulk thing. AL became the emporer form when he needed it most. yeah its a tad unrealistic but as u said so is the whole xeno thing anyway.
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Nuthouse_Escapee
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 06:02
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It was pretty good lordy, nice job. But your hero is a little cliched, an alarm kept going off in my head that sounded just like this: Hulk, whoop! Hulk, whoop! Hulk, whoop!! And Kang is right on the "hero never misses syndrome". And on the grenade, no human could stand up to one of those in the chest, and Alien Lord is no exception, cross breed as he is. But good job, good job... 
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 12:15
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ummmmm well the hulk alarm was kinda right. thats kinda where i got the idea.
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Froggy
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 12:47
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well mar helped me out with bringing that kinda out with my emporer xeno
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yeth
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 13:05
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It's like sports Iyou'll want to play with the best so you can learn from them and the final thing to unrealisticy part: It's a fanfic. everybody wants to make aat some point a character who is more or less invincible. It's ain't a bad thing, but I don't like it that much, but there are many kind of ppl on this planet.
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 13:32
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well thank u for ur understanding kang.
Also this is my 1000th post. in just over 6 months.
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Nuthouse_Escapee
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 13:48
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i left a comment on your story lordy, go read it 
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Nuthouse_Escapee
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 16:35
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thanx again people for giving me suggestions on what i can do to make my story better.
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