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TCOAK |
Nuthouse_Escapee
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 838
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 Posted on: 2003-08-06 19:01
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Maybe if you put in some of Alien Lord's thoughts, he could develop better  like, how he feels about Machiko, write that down! say, there about to sleep with eachother a "god she's beautiful!" thought might be in order... just a suggestion 
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Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: Site Bo$$
Posts: 1800
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 21:40
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thanx
since mar will be gone for a while would u mine being my proofie for TCOAK and then when he returns well i can always use two proofies
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Skar'ku_Mar'kel-ja
Rank: WarMaster
Posts: 1940
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 22:24
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| | It was pretty good lordy, nice job. But your hero is a little cliched, an alarm kept going off in my head that sounded just like this: Hulk, whoop! Hulk, whoop! Hulk, whoop!! And Kang is right on the "hero never misses syndrome". And on the grenade, no human could stand up to one of those in the chest, and Alien Lord is no exception, cross breed as he is. But good job, good job... |
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what the hell is going on!!!! this is bloody FICTION you can make anything you want happen, thats the beauty of fiction, ALNS can make is character as strong or weak as he wants.
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Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: Site Bo$$
Posts: 1800
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 22:34
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u know ur right mar. it is fiction. its meant to be unrealistic. thats the fun of it. IT FUCKS WITH UR MIND.
u know. just for the hell of it ill make AL stronger in the way future. HE IS DESTINED TO BE.... A GOD.
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Froggy
Rank: Frag Meat
Posts: 27
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 22:39
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I find that characters without flaws are very boring. It is much more interesting to see a character struggle than to get by easy.
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Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: Site Bo$$
Posts: 1800
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 22:41
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u know people mar is quite right. its my fic. thanx anyways for the suggestions and all. but i have to choose what i want to do with my own character. For he is alien lord. lord of xenos.
thanx for ur oppinions people but mar is right i can make him as strong and unrealistic as i want. hell i can make him be able to shoot fire out of his hands
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Froggy
Rank: Frag Meat
Posts: 27
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 22:51
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The best stories are the ones that put the characters through Hell before then end. And people sympathize better with a mortal character, a character with flaws. Beat him up. Put him through Hell. Have him screw up and fail some. Let him lose those that he cares about. And then have him win despite the odds. Trust me, it turns out better than a story about non-stop destruction.
Oh, and Alien Lord will never beat the TRUE lord of the xenomorphs, S'liithsss.
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Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: Site Bo$$
Posts: 1800
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Posted on: 2003-08-06 23:03
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well u see there. ur right. he could never beet her. but nor could she beet him. they would die fighting eachother. hint hint
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R'iithsss the D...
Rank: Fragger
Posts: 173
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 Posted on: 2003-08-07 04:33
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ARG, being just awakened with headake from my last joyride i had with friends i also realised i mist a great deal here as i see. 
BUT enough of the sad part, as froggy said that ur character needs more emotion more moral. Wel i have either three suggestions and here they are.
1. He finally after somuch struggle he free's the alien hive and he's happy only to realise he put the safety maganism on and every alien from facehugger to Queen get's wiped out. Ofcourse Alien Lord does not like this and NOW he goes on a path for avengeange.
2. I don't know if you intend to or just completely not, but you might also have Machiko die. First ofcourse she will fight Alien Lord once for the ultimate battle and then have those two create a special bond and maybe have them fall in love with eachother but then horror strikes as machiko get's fataly injured and dies. Ofcourse Alien Lord pissed of as much as he can be, will kill every human left to avenge his mate.
The 3rd and most unlikely i think is: Have him meet his trainer his guide or friend (whatever) and then they fight side by side. But in one battle Alien Lord get's hurt so much he is not able to fight anymore and he get's carried away by machiko while his friend stays behind to put up the last battle.
After recovering from his injury he find's his friend, dead. Ofcourse bringing up all the memories of the good and bad times they had toghether he build's up fury and shall unleash this towards the humans with some help of Machiko ofcourse.
Well lord i hope this was of some help or maybe giving you ideas that look like this to put in yur story. And as i said once but i will say it again, keep up the gud works 
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Nuthouse_Escapee
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 838
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Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: Site Bo$$
Posts: 1800
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Posted on: 2003-08-07 12:12
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those are all great ideas. and well something along those lines may happen. thanx guys.
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Posts: 1800
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alienprincess
Rank: Fragger
Posts: 110
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 Posted on: 2003-10-17 10:33
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I amay be new at all this, but i know a darn good story when i read one and TCOAK is a great one. stories always have mistakes wiht grammar, due to printing errors, BIG DEAL! we are just mainly teens! we have a whole life of boredom ahead of us and fiction (sci-fi/fantasy etc..) gives a twist and excitement to our lives! So rock on!
more later
AP 
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R'iithsss the D...
Rank: Fragger
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alienprincess
Rank: Fragger
Posts: 110
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Posted on: 2003-10-17 12:05
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oh i happen to know the REAL Alien Lord, New Species or at least in this world never mind me though.
AP
ALNS: you wanted to know when i would begin to write on forums well now i am esp. since i enjoy your stories lol
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Crazy Alien Lord
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Skar'ku_Mar'kel-ja
Rank: WarMaster
Posts: 1940
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Posted on: 2003-10-17 20:51
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| @ Alienprincess:
Ehmm......lol? |
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LOL, its ok Riithsss, you don't have to eat her... I understand how you feel
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Crazy Alien Lord
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R'iithsss the D...
Rank: Fragger
Posts: 173
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 Posted on: 2003-10-19 11:11
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Yu mean Marry or me Lord? Cus if yu meant me i already got my explenation ready... 
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