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Birth Of A Killer.


Forum: AvP Universe Stories
When two lethal xenoc species encounter humans.
Topic: Birth Of A Killer.
Total Posts: 30

blind
Rank: 0
Posts: 49

Birth of a killer

There in front of the marines was egg. Unknown to the marine of what was waiting inside he approached the egg. All the sudden the egg started to split open. The marines stopped dead in his tracks and watched as something leapt out onto the ground. He did not know what it was so he walked closer and closer to it. At what seemed like lightning speed to the marine that facehugger attached itself onto his face, it stayed there by using it

Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800

i think i will save sloffy the time of saying this.
the whole point of commenting is not to just say how gud something is. the point is to point out little typos and things. or give a suggestion. if u dont like that then dont post it.
secondly that was rather gud for ur first time. keep it up.

Skar'ku_Mar'kel-ja
Rank: 0
Posts: 1940

Hey, its the capital dude, no offense man, just we don't see that sorta thing much its good tho, i will comment on ur Fic posting.

AlienSlof
Rank: 8
Posts: 1136

If you're going to write stories, may I suggest some paragraphs? Also, consider dropping the capitals thing - at least for stories - it makes it so hard to read properly. I gave up on what is probably a decent bit of writing you did there, simply because I'd rather read something where english rules are used correctly. Capitals are used to emphasise things as well as starting sentences - reading it done like that makes every word read that way.

Then perhaps give some thought to getting yourself a GameStory writer's account and popping it up there....

TIKI
Rank: 0
Posts: 1176

Ya man its hard to read your story withe capitals its driving me crazy

Acid-Death
Rank: 0
Posts: 418

I also noticed a lack of punctuation, instead you use full stops where a little punctuation mark could be used to continue the story.

blind
Rank: 0
Posts: 49

I Will Drop The All Caps For Stories And That. The Reason There Is No Paragraphs Is It Never Occured To Me While Writing It. I'll Fix The Caps Thing And Make Paragraphs.

AlienSlof
Rank: 8
Posts: 1136

I notice you post on my forums too - I'm looking forward to you growing out of the caps thing - it makes your stuff hard to read. I know someone else who does it on a computer forum I go on, and people don't like him doing it either!

On the story thing, yeah, it's a good idea, and that's how mine first come out - a constant stream of ideas which I then have to go over and tidy up as they would be unreadable otherwise! There are quite a lot of peeps who come on here for whom english is a second or even third language - english rules used incorrectly can confuse. Spelling and grammar errors are generally overlooked on forums as not everyone can spell, but the caps thing you do by choice and as such is less welcome - Tiki for example isn't english.

blind
Rank: 0
Posts: 49

I have figured out that I would have to rewrite the whole story to fix it. Every time I try to take tha caps away the words start to meld together. And then if I try to fix that problem it just gets worse. So I have to wait till I start the next chapter.

AlienSlof
Rank: 8
Posts: 1136

What program did you write it in?

Oh, and PM Prezes for a writer's account on GS - he'll sort you out all the details!

blind
Rank: 0
Posts: 49

I wrote it in word. Couldn't think of where else to write it. But I have found a solution. I printed out the story and am now going to make the changes by using the printed one and writing it over properly. And I guess I will mail prez.

AlienSlof
Rank: 8
Posts: 1136

Good - any creativeness is to be encouraged.

blind
Rank: 0
Posts: 49

I finished the story. And remade it kinda. Hope you enjoy. The picture of slicer is from the old AvP Game. If Anyone Could Draw Him Better Please Do.

Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800

now sloffy this isnt really fair to blind. u cant just go and tell him how he should do stuff. Ur destroying part of his unique attributes.
In my oppinion thats not being a very gud mod. not that my oppinions matter anymore.

Nuthouse_Escapee
Rank: 0
Posts: 838

Slof is a moderator now???

Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800

Oh and blind keep up the fantastic work. I really liked that first chapter. I was still able to read it even when it was capitalized. and may i say absolute magnificant drawing. did u do it ur self or did u have a friend do it.

Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800

yeah she is. she went back into power sometime early this weak or late last weak. i can tell becuase she reviewed and submitted a newsie.

Nuthouse_Escapee
Rank: 0
Posts: 838

Oh. Well, she's not listed yet...

Crazy Alien Lord
Rank: 8
Posts: 1800

i wasnt listed for a while either.

blind
Rank: 0
Posts: 49

I personally don't mind. And the pic is from a older version of AvP.

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