Yippee, my first story.
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Topic: Yippee, my first story.
Total Posts: 31
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: 0
Posts: 658
Aint never done nothin like it before. It feels......cool!
TIKI
Rank: 0
Posts: 1176
Blackdawn_70631
Rank: 0
Posts: 369
| Quote: |
| One predator could kill like 6 columbian guys armed withe f*cking powerfull weapons and still the pred survived and killed the all!!! |
Yeah, that is true Tiki but the first batch that was sent out there were slaughtered due to the fact that they were un-bloods, I thought his chapter was evenly balanced. One thing I couldn't get over was a Leader sending his un-blooded students to fight against armed oomans???
Overall the chapter was pretty good, I found myself disappointed when the chapter came to an end.
Can't wait for chap 2!
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: 0
Posts: 658
Yeah, I stumbled a bit in the Pred parts.
I intended it to be an ambush. The un-blooded cannon fodder didn't see the Cadians. Sorry if it didn't come out that way.
Blackdawn_70631
Rank: 0
Posts: 369
Blackdawn_70631
Rank: 0
Posts: 369
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: 0
Posts: 658
| Quote: |
| I like your writing Kore, your story plot is different and original, I only suggest to Beta read your chapters, they look a little, raw. Other then that they're pretty good. |
What's Beta read mean? I'm guessing it mean let another person read before hand to get different view points. If thats the case then sure...you care to volunteer?
TIKI
Rank: 0
Posts: 1176
Dude did you get me MSN?
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: 0
Posts: 658
Da'Yeyinde
Rank: 8
Posts: 392
The battle scenes are good, and your mixture of the languages is superb.
Da'Yeyinde
Oh and I am guessing that most folks are not aware of the fire and armor capabilities of the 40K armies. Those dudes can kick some major butt.
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: 0
Posts: 658
| Quote: |
| Sweeet!! I like the writing style and the way you have each of the characters totally mapped out and their interaction with each other is great. The battle scenes are good, and your mixture of the languages is superb. Da'Yeyinde Oh and I am guessing that most folks are not aware of the fire and armor capabilities of the 40K armies. Those dudes can kick some major butt. |
Glad all y'all folks like it.
Thanks man, wait till I compare them to an Index Astartes Space Marine. Talk about out gunned. Shoot "bolts" or large explosive bullets the size of your head from a hand gun.
Language wise, I try to make it fit the personallity.
Again, thanks guys! Just wait, I got a WHOLE bunch more of that comin.
TIKI
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Posts: 1176
TIKI
Rank: 0
Posts: 1176
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: 0
Posts: 658
FOR SOME REASON I THOUGHT YOU SAID CANADIANS?
GO FIGURE.......
TIKI
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Posts: 1176
hardkoreUSMC
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Posts: 658
The Space Marines have an elite type of unit called a TERMINATOR. These guys are any creatures worst nightmare. They have "terminator armour" which is geared by servo motors and stuff and the armour is immensely thick. These guys carry "storm bolter" which are bolters x 2. Two bolters together, and a power fist. When playing a game of WarHammer 40k, on a 6 sided die, to kill a terminator you must role a 1. 2,3,4,5,6 he's saved! BUT THEY COST 42 POINTS PER MODEL AS A STANDARD S MARINE COST 15!!
TIKI
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Posts: 1176
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: 0
Posts: 658
But then the TERMINATORS also have "DEEP STRIKE" which means they can teleport anywhere on the battlefield.
All you have to do is roll either a 3+ or 4+( im not sure) then place them within the area of an ordinace blast template. Then you roll a scatter dice to see if they teleport on target. I used it effectively to rip through about 2 ten person TAU squads before being overwhelmed in H2H.
Not too mention they can easily be backed up by a platoon or two of Imperial Guardsmen.
TIKI
Rank: 0
Posts: 1176
yeth
Rank: 0
Posts: 234
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