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Yippee, my first story. |
hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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 Posted on: 2004-05-04 22:29
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Yep, I just posted my 1st story ever.
Aint never done nothin like it before. It feels......cool! 
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TIKI
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 1176
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 Posted on: 2004-05-05 10:36
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Hey the story was pretty great. But you had underestimated the yautja extreamly!! As we could see in Predator1 and 2 special in 2. One predator could kill like 6 columbian guys armed withe f*cking powerfull weapons and still the pred survived and killed the all!!! 
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Blackdawn_70631
Rank: Death Bringer
Posts: 369
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 Posted on: 2004-05-05 10:57
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One predator could kill like 6 columbian guys armed withe f*cking powerfull weapons and still the pred survived and killed the all!!!
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Yeah, that is true Tiki but the first batch that was sent out there were slaughtered due to the fact that they were un-bloods, I thought his chapter was evenly balanced. One thing I couldn't get over was a Leader sending his un-blooded students to fight against armed oomans??? 
Overall the chapter was pretty good, I found myself disappointed when the chapter came to an end. 
Can't wait for chap 2!
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hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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 Posted on: 2004-05-05 17:05
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Chap 2's gonna be boring in comparison to chap1. It's just a wind down.
Yeah, I stumbled a bit in the Pred parts.
I intended it to be an ambush. The un-blooded cannon fodder didn't see the Cadians. Sorry if it didn't come out that way.
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Blackdawn_70631
Rank: Death Bringer
Posts: 369
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Posted on: 2004-05-05 20:11
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I like your writing Kore, your story plot is different and original, I only suggest to Beta read your chapters, they look a little, raw. Other then that they're pretty good.
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Blackdawn_70631
Rank: Death Bringer
Posts: 369
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Posted on: 2004-05-05 20:14
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I like your writing Kore, your story plot is different and original, I only suggest to Beta read your chapters, they look a little, raw. Other then that they're pretty good.
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hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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Posted on: 2004-05-05 20:30
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| | I like your writing Kore, your story plot is different and original, I only suggest to Beta read your chapters, they look a little, raw. Other then that they're pretty good. |
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What's Beta read mean? I'm guessing it mean let another person read before hand to get different view points. If thats the case then sure...you care to volunteer?
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TIKI
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 1176
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Posted on: 2004-05-06 09:32
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Dude like you said its your first one. The more you make the more you learn!  I am realy intrested of reading chap2 me wondering what will happen!!! 
Dude did you get me MSN?
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hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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Posted on: 2004-05-06 14:50
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Yep, I got yer MSN. It's all good now. Pretty soon I'll be halfway done with my Terminator Vs Yautja/Resistance book
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Da'Yeyinde
Rank: Site Bo$$
Posts: 392
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Posted on: 2004-05-07 20:26
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Sweeet!! I like the writing style and the way you have each of the characters totally mapped out and their interaction with each other is great.
The battle scenes are good, and your mixture of the languages is superb.
Da'Yeyinde
Oh and I am guessing that most folks are not aware of the fire and armor capabilities of the 40K armies. Those dudes can kick some major butt.
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hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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Posted on: 2004-05-07 20:45
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| Sweeet!! I like the writing style and the way you have each of the characters totally mapped out and their interaction with each other is great.
The battle scenes are good, and your mixture of the languages is superb.
Da'Yeyinde
Oh and I am guessing that most folks are not aware of the fire and armor capabilities of the 40K armies. Those dudes can kick some major butt.
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Glad all y'all folks like it.
Thanks man, wait till I compare them to an Index Astartes Space Marine. Talk about out gunned. Shoot "bolts" or large explosive bullets the size of your head from a hand gun.
Language wise, I try to make it fit the personallity.
Again, thanks guys! Just wait, I got a WHOLE bunch more of that comin.
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TIKI
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 1176
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Posted on: 2004-05-08 03:31
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Hey whats your name in MSN? Can you tell me how the Candians are (spelled right?) Where are they from and hwy the name?
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TIKI
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 1176
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Posted on: 2004-05-09 05:19
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ho they are and where are they from!
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hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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Posted on: 2004-05-09 23:26
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OH CADIANS!!! Those are Imperial Troopers from the year 40,000. They originate from a region on the Hive Worlds(Terra) know as Cadia. They are hand picked from regiments all across the Imperium's millions of worlds and are considered the finest "restricted duty" troops anywhere and certainly are among the best Imperial Guard Troops next to Stormtroopers.
FOR SOME REASON I THOUGHT YOU SAID CANADIANS?
GO FIGURE.......
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TIKI
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 1176
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Posted on: 2004-05-10 13:56
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Heheh lol ya the name is like canadians, when you read it fast and dont think on it realy! 
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hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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Posted on: 2004-05-10 17:35
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BUT, the thing that will make any species tremble will be the INDEX ASTARTES, or Space Marines. They stand tall twice the size of an average human, Genetically engineered warriors equiped with Power Armour and are issued Bolters, which, the barrel of a bolter is about the size of your face. They fire "bolts" which are essentially bullets that explode after impact. The Marine himself is equiped with two of every organ (heart, lungs etc.)
The Space Marines have an elite type of unit called a TERMINATOR. These guys are any creatures worst nightmare. They have "terminator armour" which is geared by servo motors and stuff and the armour is immensely thick. These guys carry "storm bolter" which are bolters x 2. Two bolters together, and a power fist. When playing a game of WarHammer 40k, on a 6 sided die, to kill a terminator you must role a 1. 2,3,4,5,6 he's saved! BUT THEY COST 42 POINTS PER MODEL AS A STANDARD S MARINE COST 15!!
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TIKI
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 1176
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 Posted on: 2004-05-11 06:27
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Expentsive pasterds well i still bet a heavy yautja can make a canopener from it!!!
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hardkoreUSMC
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 655
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Posted on: 2004-05-11 17:03
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I'm sure a skilled heavy yautja could easily kill a couple of them, jjust throw a smart disc here or a spear there would bring one down.
But then the TERMINATORS also have "DEEP STRIKE" which means they can teleport anywhere on the battlefield.
All you have to do is roll either a 3+ or 4+( im not sure) then place them within the area of an ordinace blast template. Then you roll a scatter dice to see if they teleport on target. I used it effectively to rip through about 2 ten person TAU squads before being overwhelmed in H2H.
Not too mention they can easily be backed up by a platoon or two of Imperial Guardsmen.
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TIKI
Rank: Dominator
Posts: 1176
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Posted on: 2004-05-12 11:21
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Lets not forgett the Yautja cloack its hrad to hit what you cant see. When it come to cloack and teleporting i bet cloack beats teleporting!!
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yeth
Rank: Fragger
Posts: 234
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Posted on: 2004-05-13 10:54
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Teleporting is much better, sure you can't see them when they are cloaked, but it doesn't matter when they can teleport. They'll just teleport behind you, back to safety... anywhere.
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