and smash into one of their two escort cruisers. The smoke trail originated from the planets surface. A scan of the area revealed a...

a smugglers base filled with dozens of war-capable vessels, and...

...two huge ion signitures closing on the base....



(PRED's)

...And Barney, the Purple Dinosaur...



(Hey, I couldn't think of anything else!)

...and the Teletubies! For Chrissake, the planet seemed to be a children's television purgatory for all outcast and currently unpopular characters. But what else lay in wait on the strange planet below?



Just then the ship rocked and...

... as Dipsy pressed a large red button...La La looked at Dipsy and then looked at the button labeled SELF DESTRUCT...the teletubies turned to each other....UH OH !!!!! ....

"shit!" breathed Helstrom as he was crawling out of the escape capsule.



The impact was bad, three of the crewmembers inside died on impact, their bodies thrown violently about. Sergeant Heyles suffered from numerous broken ribs, a broken spine at the second lumbar vertebrate and extensive internal bleeding. He died staring into the eyes of the Private, pleading from his life, as if Helstrom could save him. The other two where dead before Nick Helstrom recovered from the impact.



As he took a look around the outside the ‘landing’ zone…

He saw the survivors from the other pods, starting to regroup,

amongst the people huddled together was...

The body of a creature, its body torn and maimed - showing clear signs of a vicious battle ending only with the loser being left for dead.



Lying by its side was a small shrivelled corpse, its familiarity seemed distant as it was beyond attention



The survivors made their way a few hundred meters north to a piece of elevated terrain, looking down they could see the surrounding sight of what had been a massacre. Nearly 60 human style corpses, laiden with high tech alien armour lay strewn over the battlefield, around them had formed unnatural potholes, formed as if the sand had been burned away... by acid.



One of the survivors yelled over to the group, the body of the creature had began to spasm...

the carcas began to shalke violently...



without wanring a blue-white streak of light shot from a cluster of trees two hundred yards away, disintegrating the shuddering hulk of meat.



All became very quiet...

"Run!" someone shouted



All the survivors moved in different directions, no one was thinking as to the best way to survive as a group. Everyone was to fend for them selves.



A few of the people fell to the ground, never to stand up, before the got to the tree line. When all of a sudden…

...the earth shook and the ground split open in front of the treeline. From the depths, fire and molten magma shot forth. Then a deep growl could be heard eminating from the gorge, and a horrible beast clawed its way up and out onto the grass. There stood the most horrible beast in the galaxy, it was...

...Prezes after debugging the site for 20 hours straight.

"Dear Jesus!" screamed one of the men. "We are surely doomed now!" However, there was one person in the group that COULD combat this foulest of beasts...

but the Predator pack was ready for the Beast and...

Ran around it, firing carefully as to blind the beast. All shots hit home and the creature stumbled momentarily, before a volley of spears tore into its flesh. It fell to the ground with a crash, squashing one of the preds in the process.



The predators took one look at the shaking human survivors, one let out a loud warcry then the pack ran back off into the forest.

which only annoyed the second creature, which just came out to see its mate lying dead.

[thnx. I knew you had to kill me , and after all I have done for you.... ]



"Didn't someone just say this?. Run!" shouted Helstrom to the survivers around him.

Some of the humans began to run again, but most where frozen to their spots and watch the spectacle of life and death that unfolded before them.

Suddenly....

the rabbit from Monty Python adn teh Holy Grail appeared, killing all life forms present.

Successively...

...There came a cry from over the hill. "Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!" Standing on a hill overlooking the scene of destruction the rabbit had caused stood King Arthur and his Knights. As Brother Maynard walked slowly towards Arthur, his hymns ringing out...